Empowered Single Mothers in China Forge New Partnerships

In recent years, as divorce rates continue to escalate and the cost of living increases, single mothers in China are forging an alternative form of partnership: collaboration with fellow single mothers. Utilizing social media platforms, these mothers are actively seeking like-minded individuals with whom to share their homes and parenting responsibilities.

“I’m hoping to find another single mom to share an apartment with, so we can take care of each other,” reads a widely shared post on Xiaohongshu, also known internationally as Rednote. “If our children are around the same age, that would be even better – they can be companions. Those raising kids alone know how tough it is; sometimes you’re so busy you barely have time to eat.”

While there are no concrete statistics to quantify this trend, academics have noted a significant increase in informal support networks online, with many mothers sharing posts seeking housemates and engaging in broader discussions on parenting strategies. Currently, there are approximately 30 million single mothers in China. Alarmingly, divorce rates have surged to about four times what they were two decades ago, despite governmental initiatives aimed at reducing these statistics. Furthermore, over 80% of custodial arrangements following a divorce favor mothers.

Although there are legal mandates concerning child support, a considerable number of single-mother households in major cities are living below the poverty line, according to government reports. This challenging economic landscape accentuates the need for shared living arrangements among single mothers.

An illustrative case of this trend is the partnership between Zhu Danyu and Fei Yuan, who have been cohabiting in Nanjing since 2022. “At the core, we both know very clearly why we’re together – it’s about sharing and managing the risks and pressures of life,” Zhu explains.

Zhu and Fei’s journey began when Zhu sought collaborators for her education start-up. Both women, having experienced divorce—Zhu with two daughters and Fei with one—quickly formed a bond through their shared experiences. “I was deeply impressed by the way she raised her daughter,” Zhu recalls, reflecting on her admiration for Fei’s parenting style. “At that time, my own two daughters were struggling both academically and emotionally after my divorce.”

The two families began to spend significant time together. Zhu and her daughters often stayed over to support Fei when her child fell ill during the COVID-19 lockdowns. As their relationship deepened, they decided to formalize their living arrangement. “Over time, we realized that we shared similar values and got along really well,” Fei adds. “Our personalities also complement each other. I’m more detail-oriented and love keeping things tidy, but I can’t cook. Really, I just can’t. Danyu, on the other hand, is a great cook and loves making meals for the kids.”

Today, Zhu and Fei not only share a household but also run a joint business from their home in Nanjing. Their weekends are spent together, and the children do their homework collectively in the evenings. The two mothers have divided caregiving responsibilities, especially beneficial since Zhu frequently travels for work.

Despite facing negative comments and speculation about their relationship from some online observers, both women report that their friends and families are supportive of their living arrangement. “What matters to us is whether our children are happy, healthy, and doing well in school, and whether our business is growing steadily,” they affirm.

This growing trend among single mothers in China highlights a vital shift in how parenting and support systems are evolving within the country. By forming partnerships with other single mothers, they are not only alleviating the burdens of child-rearing but also fostering a sense of community that empowers them in their daily lives.

The emergence of shared living arrangements among single mothers in China represents a significant change in the traditional family structure. As women navigate the complexities of parenting alone, the power of community and mutual support becomes ever more critical. As divorce rates rise and economic challenges persist, these innovative partnerships are paving the way for a more supportive and collaborative approach to parenthood.