My cultural awakening: The Specials helped me to stop fixating on death

My anxious disposition means I think about death a lot. But a cluster of people I loved dying in 2023, and most of them unexpectedly and within a few months of each other, was enough to shake my nervous system up pretty significantly. Five funerals is too many. The first was my nan: she was the family matriarch. The oldest person in the family, so there was a level of acceptance among the sadness. But soon after it was her son, and then her granddaughter (my cousin). The latter two were shocks, completely upending my nervous system, one compounding the other. From there, two more followed. Death was all around. It wasn’t just a part of life by that point – it was something to expect soon and often. At first I seemed fine. Despite concerned friends and partners asking if I was hiding anything, I didn’t think I was. But soon I retreated from fun, becoming very fixated on things like my resting heart rate and body fat percentage. I skipped social events for high-intensity interval training sessions followed by the sauna followed by meditation – not a bad thing, but not a balance, either. I cut out caffeine, including dark chocolate. When I didn’t stick to my new routine, I would have a panic attack, which I’d assume was a heart attack, which would lead to more frequent episodes of panic. I was suffering from grief-based panic disorder, as well as a high dose of health anxiety. Something in my mind had switched my nervous system into overdrive, and left me believing that impending disaster was around every corner; that I was constantly on a tightrope of mortality. Then, at the fourth wake, a song came on that managed to help me heal and reframe my entire world. Enjoy Yourself (It’s Later Than You Think) is a song from the 1940s, later covered by the Specials – a band I listened to more than any other growing up. They helped me form my opinions on everything from fashion to politics. For the two-tone ska band, this song is on the cheesier side – a good stretch away from bleak socio-critical tracks such as Rat Race or Ghost Town. In fact, as an angsty teenager it was the only song I didn’t like by the Specials. But when it came on, hearing the jovial and rough sound of the Specials was enough to lift my spirits. As I continued to listen to the song, the a simple switch flipped inside me. I realised that I was living a life set up to be miserable and fearful. The chorus painted a better picture: “The years go by, as quickly as you wink / Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think”. Life doesn’t have to be serious all the time; it doesn’t have to be drastic. The future doesn’t need to be the extreme version that I worry will occur. On a psychological level, the song acted as a mantra which I used to snap out of the spirals and neurotic fixations that kept building up. It said quite simply “enjoy yourself” – and I listened. It cautioned that life is precious and fleeting, and that I was wasting it. I did at one point push the balance too far the other way – said yes to too much, stayed out too late, definitely spent too much money – but it was better than being stuck in a cycle of doom. Better still is the balance I am striking now. Today, enjoying myself, in the song’s words, means being in touch with myself and my needs; saying yes and saying no. Not feeling guilty for lying on the couch once in a while. My disposition berates me into being disciplined and self-critical, and this song helps me to let go. I’ve even quit jobs and moved countries since. All in all, I regret very little. Did a cultural moment prompt you to make a major life change? Email us at [email protected]