Struggling with Workaholism: A Personal Journey of Balance

Have you ever encountered a word that resonates deeply with you? For me, that word was “workaholism”. I first heard it earlier this year while listening to an audiobook during my commute, and it triggered a mix of recognition and anxiety. It took me back to one of the most challenging periods of my life.

cryptocurrency In May 2016, when I was nearly five months pregnant, I embarked on a trip to rural Norway to create a short documentary for The Guardian. The Norwegian government had initiated a program requiring asylum seekers—primarily from Muslim-majority countries—to attend cultural education classes focused on women’s rights. I was invited to a session in Moi, a picturesque town situated by a lake, about 100 kilometers south of Stavanger.

My pregnancy journey had been fraught with complications. At nine weeks, I experienced significant bleeding after finishing a shoot for Sky News. This terrifying episode occurred on Good Friday, and I endured an agonizing four-day wait for a scan that ultimately confirmed everything was fine.

However, my challenges did not end there. During the routine 12-week screening, I was given a one-in-two chance that my baby might be born with Down’s syndrome. To investigate further, a 20-centimeter needle was inserted into my abdomen to check for chromosomal abnormalities. While I awaited the results, I dove headfirst into work, producing a segment for BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.

Fortunately, my baby was cleared of Down’s syndrome and other chromosomal issues, but I was advised to take him to Great Ormond Street Hospital for a heart check. By the 19th week, my pregnancy was officially deemed normal. I treated myself to some maternity T-shirts to accommodate my growing bump and boarded a flight to Norway.

The morning of the cultural class, I woke up far earlier than planned. An unsettling feeling washed over me as I opened my eyes; something was clearly amiss. My throat felt tight and salty, and I was on the verge of vomiting, though it didn’t resemble typical morning sickness. A sharp pain shot through my right side, leaving me breathless, and it was not the dull discomfort I usually associated with pregnancy cramps.

“Perhaps last night’s dinner didn’t sit well with me?” I thought. Taking a paracetamol, I attempted to return to sleep. I had kept the complexities of my pregnancy hidden from my editors, as a freelancer conditioned to always appear highly employable. As a woman, I feared that revealing my struggles might lead others to question my professional capabilities. Deep down, I simply didn’t want anyone advising me to ease off.

However, the situation escalated to the point where I could no longer muster the strength to get out of bed. I called Tom, the talented video journalist collaborating with me, to inform him that I would miss breakfast. Concerned, he quickly arranged for me to see a local doctor.

Upon examination, the doctor suspected appendicitis after I winced in pain when she pressed on my abdomen. She warned that my appendix could rupture and insisted I needed to go to the hospital. At that moment, I dismissed her concerns. What were the odds of me facing such a complication after everything I had endured? I questioned the competence of a rural GP and rationalized that appendicitis was supposed to be excruciatingly painful, and my discomfort was manageable. I had a class to attend in just one hour.

Despite my skepticism, my health took precedence. I reluctantly agreed to go to the hospital, where I underwent further tests. To my astonishment, the diagnosis of appendicitis was confirmed. This unexpected turn of events became a turning point, forcing me to confront my workaholic tendencies and how they impacted my health and well-being.

This experience, like many others, shed light on the often-overlooked relationship between work and mental health. The pressure to maintain a high level of productivity can lead individuals to neglect their well-being. My instinct to work through adversity stemmed from a deeply ingrained fear of judgment, but it ultimately put my health at risk.

As I lay in the hospital, recovering from surgery, I had ample time to reflect on my priorities. The societal expectation to always be “on” can create a toxic work culture, especially for women who might feel they have to prove themselves even more.

In the months that followed, I learned to embrace a healthier work-life balance. I started to set boundaries, prioritizing my well-being alongside my career. The journey of motherhood and my profession has taught me the importance of self-care and the necessity of recognizing when to step back.

Ultimately, acknowledging my struggles with workaholism has been liberating. It has provided me with a new perspective on what it means to balance work and health. It’s a journey that continues, reminding me that while ambition is important, taking care of oneself is paramount.